Eagles - Written February 2011

And he will raise you up on eagle’s wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like sun, and hold you in the palm of his hand….

The last few weeks I’ve felt like I was in a holding pattern. Just kind of waiting for something…not sure what just something.

Now, here’s where the above part comes in…I’ve been spending any time I’m not out walking or picking the boys up from school sitting in the same place in the same room for the last said amount of weeks.  From this vantage point I have a clear view of the sky and the trees that reach up to it from the gully in the back of the monster house.  Notice I did not refer to this as a back yard as there is none.  But the good part about all this is that we do have a gully and since there is a marshy area, wildlife abounds out back. Not only the two-legged little boy kind that loves the adventures out there, but wildlife in the gully is an awesome example of the food chain.  In the backyard are various types of squirrels and other rodentia and just as wide a variety of birds.  The birds that eat the rodentia have a veritable feast below the canopy in our gully.

 As I was sitting, wasting away and occasionally breaking out in tears of boredom and gluttony and self-pity, towards the end of last week I saw a huge bird swoop down and perch on one of the branches of one of the trees out back.  Out of the corner of my eye, or maybe during a commercial or maybe even as I prayed that I would feel more whole instead of life less, it launched itself off the branch and into the air so fast I scarcely could see it. It dove into the gully and as it did I leaped off my perch and watched to see if I could see where it went and what squirrel mcnugget it was going to call lunch.  It disappeared.  Over the course of the past week I kept watch for my newfound bird intrigue.

 Then one day, I saw it.  Up high in a tree against a bright sunny winter sky. The White head and yellow beak of a picture perfect bald eagle. Now you really don’t normally associate Michigan as home to our national bird, but I’ve seen them out at the park that I had been planning on perching at in my spare time but had never seem to get to in the past couple of weeks. Maybe God sent them this way to the gulley just for that reason.  If the mountain won’t go to Mohammad…

Anyway, this particular day, I saw the eagle. It started in one of our windows and flew across the width of the gully just like in one of those endangered species commercials! It was awe-inspiring!  I couldn’t believe it. Over the course of the next week or so I would see it’s flash as it went after some tasty treat in the gully.

 A few days later, I realized I hadn’t seen it in a while. I looked out the window every now and then and saw a flock of nasty blue jays and an occasional gold finch, of course lots of squirrels but the eagle hadn’t been around lately.

 Then it happened. Luck seemed to turn just as the calender turned to the new month.  I went out for one reason or another and came home to find a sub job open. I needed it. I grabbed it.  Then I checked my messages. A job I had applied for three weeks ago had called me for an interview.  On my son’s birthday no less!  Another day went by and I had to take my son to the doctor and was getting close to a deadline that I had missed the week before.  The deadline had been extended by a week, so I hurriedly tried to get them done when I hit a computer glitch. I e-mailed the woman in charge then took a breath and tried again, this time with success.  I got 3 of my 4 applications completed. I took the little guy to the dr. and got home to find an e-mail form the woman asking me to call her, that they had gotten though but she wanted to make sure the glitch  wasn’t keeping other people from applying as well.  I called her and was telling her about something I had done in the past and she is very excited about running a similar program here in my hometown.  She’d like me to run it. 

The Eagle flew away and I guess God decided that was it was time for me to fly. Time for me to feel my spirit regain strength in the palm of his hand.

What have I been up to?

Not that anyone is really following me, and I wouldn't blame them if they did becasue I haven't written in a  while but a lot has happened so I figure I'll catch y'all up.

March was let's just say a low energy month. I got new running shoes got some miles in. Got a few swims in too.  In looking at my log it seems the weather was not very conducive to running at all.  Looks like I got 13 running miles in and 5 swimming miles in. Not impressive.

April brought a new set of personal challenges and pulled my focus off of me and on my financial responsibility to my family.  Our financial advisor went over things and it was decided that Great Oaks, a possible steady income for me and the tax breaks it gave us would be worth opening again.  So I went to work, begrudgingly, getting things set up again. Bear in mind that the room had turned into a play/treadmill/bed/junk room. I also decided, against my better angels, to add Infant care this time. So I comandeered some of the TV Room space for that.  So I am even a month later, still trying to get everything ready for re-licensing Great Oaks.  Needless to say all the cleaning and moving furniture and organizing took away training time but at least it got me moving so I guess it's a good thing.

Towards the end of April, my BFF's daughter asked me to help her train for a race this summer. I said sure, I already have training stuff figured out. The first time out we went 3 miles at a walk/run. She has since registered for her first 5K and I could not be prouder. I just need her to stop sprint/walk/sprint and get her steady pace running.  The nice thing is she is laid back and I have run in to the trheat of shin splints and sore arches so we take things in stride.    The best part is that we make plans and she holds me to them. I'm getting my base built back up and am back to being able to run an entire 3 miles in under an hour and no walking needed.

So May has been the best training month so far this year. I'm not doing the Riverbank but I am not regretting it. GR Half Marathon is on my plate- I've already registered for it even- and I love that race!  I was going to work towards a TRiathlon in June but I might do the Sprint Distance Duathlon instead. The cold temps haven't warmed any of hte lakes enough to get open swims in and lap swim at the pool is over.  So I'm just building my base fitness again and going from there.

Here are my stats for May thus far:
May 1: Rest
May 2: 3 Miles walk run
May 3: 4 mile ride
May 4: Rest
May 5: 4 mile walk run
May 6: rest
May 7 & 8: Rest
May 9: 3 mile run
May 10: 550 yard swim - shoulder pain
May 11: 3 mile RUN!
May 12: 10 mile ride- no pain and didn't die!
May 13: Rest

So I've done 17 running miles, 14 riding miles and .30 Swimming miles this month so far and it's only mid-month!

I also found a new doctor. I'm really excited about this since the last doctor I had was so busy staring at my Psoriosis and recommending I get help from HER husband the dermatologist, that she didn't hear a word I said about anything else.  So after an exasperating day of trying to find a doctor ( a story for another blog) I bit the bullet, found a doctor and had a physical. After an hour long conversation I felt great. She respected my ability level as is and she herself is passionate about running and getting people fit.  She leads some weight loss classes and take appointments with patients to meet withthem about modifying their diets. So I am keeping a Food journal. She sits down with patients every other week and goes over hte journal helping them find where they can cut down calories and balance things better. If you think about it, the co-pay for the visits is cheaper than Jenny Craig or something like that.  Those food programs don't teach you portion control-they sned it to you and you still end up adding to it anyway so they aren't for me.  She doesn't want to take away things you love but help you balance things out using what you like to eat and modifying it(meaning I won't have to eat carrots!). She asked what my ultimate wieght goal is. When I told her she wasn't freaked out.  She sasked me if I have short term goals along hte way and I told her. I also kind of challenged her to get me off that 235lbs-238lbs.  hump in under 6 months.  She is really great and I am looking forward to this.

So that's the short version of training. There have been a lot of life challenges between February and Now...loss of an important person in my  life, I joined a choir, sending Patrick to a new school next year, the boys first concerts, subbing jobs sprinkled here and there.  There is a weird little creative writing type thing I will post next. If you don't want to read it, it's cool.

Take care everyone. I'll see you on the bike path!

It's been a while...

Weight:255.6
Exercise for today: Probably weights and dreadmill after the boys are in bed.
Disposition: Much better.....

Yesterday caught me by surprise.  Without going into too many details...

* I did a 40 minutes walk around the mall.   At 9 degrees outside, I didn't want to risk the same numb-butt feeling I had riding my bike pre-blizzard last weekend. It's less evil than the dreadmill, warmer than the bike trail, and only slightly better than trying to run on a snow-covered track. It wasn't pretty but I got it done.  I discovered that my mood was much better throughout the day as well.  I used Map my Route and think i marked it to be at least a little more than half a mile per lap. Someone I thought told me it was  2/3 of a mile per lap but I'll take my measurement so I have to do more to gethte distance I want.... Yay me!

* I took some steps in a direction.  I'm trying to balance mistakes we made in the past, the kids needs right now, the reality of our finances, my personal needs, abilities and future and still make the best decisions for the family. Breathe.......

*I talked to one of my favorite people...He's far away and I miss him terribly. We NEVER seem to have enough time and I'm a leftover part of a life he's moved beyond but I'm REALLY happy for the direction his life is moving in.   I'm praying for his new family as he, and they, live in New Zealand (you know- where they had that strong earthquake) and just as I am thinking about what I can do for the people in Haiti with a group called Starfysh, I'm praying for and thinking about how they will also be re-building, again, in his part of the world.

* I was reminded that my daughter is incredible! Sometimes aggravating and at the same time she seems so much more focused on the life ahead of her. She has come so far from this time last year when a mistake she made caved her world in.  Now she is working, a straight A student, and she has a significant person in her life.  She really has a plan in place and I'm feeling less and less like I'm holding her hand.  There are times when I still need to guide her and a little cheerleading here and there, but she is so grown up.

*  I got an amazing message from someone I hardly know, but she knows me.  She is watching and learning and even called ME inspiring.  It's an awesome responsibility but it feels like it's a simbiotic relationship. Now that I know I'm being held accountable even more than those little squares on my 100 Day Challenge, it makes me proud and even more motivated.

*  I also got in touch with someone that I thought I had left behind in that murky place I was working.  She responded!  Sometimes, that's all I need. That invisible feeling I've had for the past 3 weeks melted a little more when I have days like that.

The cold sunny day we had yesterday ended with some really great positives after all.


Today I went to a meeting for American Red Cross Instructors. It was interesting and a little grey.  Like I know I went but why?  I haven't taught in a while and all of the changes coming down the pipeline are mostly administrative.  Another decision to ponder.

The rest of this sunny, 21 degree day is going to be spent  pondering and creating, looking, and hanging out.  Then exercising and getting ready for another day to ponder, walk, create, look,....you get the picture.

Enjoy the sunlight!

Incommunicado

Weight: No idea...the scale just got bateris Sunday.  Will weigh myself tomorrow
27 minutes swim + 3 minutes walking

I did my 30 tonight.  The 27 minutes come in as I discovered a goal to keep track of. The Bear Lake Triathlon is June 27th. I volunteered few years ago for this race and I have wanted to get this one done ever since.  I already am registered for the Tri nearest and dearest to my heart, the West Michigan Tri in Fremont.  That one is in August so i have wat too much time to procrastinate.  Bear Lake is closer and a little more scary  if I don't train for it.  So I'm trying to keep motivated.

There is so much to say and so little energy to sat it.  Bear Lake is in the back of my head, my heart is lying on the floor in pieces and my future is as the bottom of one of those Magic 8 Balls says,"Ask again later, not clear now."

Good night.

30 minutes and pool math.

Weight: 256...on my way down again....Yay!
Days 3/100

About this time last year I hurt myself running and this year the same injury seems to be visiting my other foot/hip...oh joy.  
Good thing it was a night the school has open swim!
Now for those not in the know, I prefer Triathlon to Marathoning.  I would love to complete a full marathon, but right now I don't think having two little boys and being a single mom most of the time allows me that luxury.  I really enjoyed the half marathon I did last Fall.  But I still condier the little Tri I did two years ago my biggest accomplishment.  Before I left my job, I registered for the Tri and the half marathon again. Once you put money down on a race, that's the first step MHGR Marathon Guru Don Kern says.

For my money, the second step are these babysteps.  The next step has been taking a little more effort than I thought it would, but I'm doing them.  My favorite authors-Coach Jenny Hadfield and john "The Penguin"Bingham started this group on Facebook called 100 Days Challenge.  It's awesome.  There is even a little chart to fill in the days in a row you do 30 minutes of intentional activity per day.

My boys found that chart one morning and asked me if he could colr it al in for me. I told him no but that he could color in square number one.  Now it's become not only a chart for me, but a way for my boys to unknowingly keep me honest!   I want them to have a square to color in for me! Thus, 3/100.  I've also noticed that I'm losing a pound a day right now.  If I do 30 miutes a day and they add up to a pound a day I might be to my target weight around day number 80!

Tonight's activity was swimming.  It's cheap, but crowded.  The pool was sooooo warm it was like swimming in the bathtub. I know the temperature wasn't conducive to triathlon open water, but the fact that I got there late so there was no lap lane for swimming in made it feel like a starting line for one.  The starting line of a Tri looks like that scene from Pirahna where all the little fish are flipping and flapping and water is flying everywhere. That's what it was like trying to find open water to swim in for 30 minutes tonight!  But I did manage to get my minutes in.  Not pretty. Not fast. But I got it done.

Now to the math....
25 yards = 1 length
50 yards = 1 lap
300 yards = West Michigan Tri Swim leg

So the story problem goes:
How many laps do I need to do to make sure I can swim at least 300?
I figure 6 but that seemes really easy....

Here's a little trickier one
Figure out how many laps I have to do to equal 750 METERS...
Get back to me on that one...I have to go jump up and down to get the water out of my ears...

So tomorrow is mall walking.  Have agreat day everyone.  Hopefully I wil have news on he employment  front soon too. Say a prayer for me.

Babysteps to Balance or Oxygen Induced Musings: What?

Babysteps to Balance or Oxygen Induced Musings: What?: "Huh? What? What exactly is this blog about? Babysteps? Is it about her kids? Oxygen Induced? Was she drowning? Well..."

Playlist Evolution

Weight: 257.0

Realized I need more ponytail holders. Guess my hair is getting longer....Told you this would be weird at times...
Got a 31 minute/2 mile run/walk in tonight before my favorite show.
Music is my safe place. It is important to me and has always been there to help me through thick and thin.  So it was no surprise that I have always, unless the technology (read as battery power) failed in some way. That's why I have a mantra to pull me through. That is for another blog....
So over the past three weeks I decided to treat myself to some new tunes.  I've been downloading songs that are new and some that, according to Sara, are new to me but not to her.
So tonight was the first test of the new playlist.  I love to sweat the bad stuff out of my system. I like to lose myself in the music or my own thoughts.  Sometimes I listen to the lyrics. Sometimes I just let my mind go. The first mile is never my friend and from mile 1 to mile 2 it usually where I cna poop out. Once I get past that mile 2 it's just one foot in front of the other until I can't go anymore.  Tonight on the dreadmill, and yes I call it the DREADmill, I focused on my playlist.  New songs, new messeges to hear. I like not hearing the footfalls and the breaths or gasps depending on pace and duration.

So here is my Playlist for my Babysteps and what I was focused on or thinking or what I was doing:

Can't Be Tamed: "This would be a good step aerobic song"

Waka Waka: Love this song! Running tune for sure!

The Time (Dirty Bit):Arm workout!

London Bridge: Naughty!

Big Girls: This one hit me emotionally.  I found myself screaming out the chorus and crying.

Waiting for the End: Running...love the instrumentals as well as the lyrics.

Just the Way You Are: Someone special said this very thing to me. Wis hthe rest of the world would figure it out.

We R Who We R: Love this one!  Run on!

So that's today's playlist.  Not an exciting blog but i got it done.

We'll see what tomorrow brings.

See you at the mall. I'll be the one humming as I circle the lil grey haired people.