What?

Huh?  What?
What exactly is this blog about?  Babysteps?  Is it about her kids?
 Oxygen Induced? Was she drowning?

Well, I was in a toxic relationship. No, not personally. Professionally.  I had a dream job but not a dream situation.  Over the eight months I was there I gained back the 60 pounds I thought I had left on the local high school track, the road I live on, and various bike trails in the area.  I lost it-it found me.  I had started running for the health of it.  I didn't know I had been running for my life!  My work shcedule had pre-empted my life as an adult-onset athlete.  My car's gas tank replaced the time I spent filling my spiritual and emotional gas tank. Time spent planning for work interrupted the time I had been spending on working on myself.   the politics of my promotion sent me tumbling into a physical and emotional  tailspin.

So...I quit.  Not good in this economy but the fainting spell at work made it clear that it wasn't worth it anymore.I quit. In a note. On a desk.  That was it.  I called my BFF and she asked me what was going on, she hadn't heard me sound so happy in months. I told her I had quit.  She was happy, freaked out a little and in awe of sorts.  The next two pleople I talked too said the same thing.  I myself was so relieved...then it hit.

What the heck am I going to do now?  I had poured so much of how I would do it if this were my academy into what I had given away...what was left?  It felt like my heart and soul and ME were gone and somewhat forgotten.  Quitting had been,evidently, more self-preservation than a matter of pride.  I felt like I did after the breakdown of my first marriage. I was divorcing this situation that had drained me.

Economically this wasn't the best time.  Physically, I don't think I could have gone on much longer.  Thus Babysteps to Balance or Oxygen Induced Musings. I used to have a blog on Myspace with one of these titles.  It's long since been abandoned (another casualty in my hectic work pace). So I'm going to start over. Just like after my divocre, it's going to take babysteps to get my feet back under me and adjusting my attitude re-adjusted to looking ahead.  so the babysteps being taken are not my dughter's or either one of my sons' but my own.  Back to finding how I can balance Mommy time with Shannon time with house time with work time.  It will come back, I just have to be patient and take those baby steps.

Ever have really great ideas that seem to come to you in the shower?  I get those but what I've found is that I also have them as I hit the Zen zone going round the track and trying to get the lap done before the next song started on my iPod.  That's where the "Oxygen-Induced" comes from.  I feel better due to endorphins- I get that. But it also seems that the air seems to energize my litte grey cells too.

I'll start out the blog with my morning weight and what my goals for the day are. Hopefuy I'll follow them up wit hsome Eart-shattering epiphanies here and there. So I'm excited. I am welcoming the cleansing effect of exercise and the ideas and clarity of thought as I stride forward looking for some balance.  Eventually it will be interesting to look back and see where I was when I started this and where I'm heading next.

Wanna come along?